Frustation Sets in

It's been a little over 16 months since I came out of the ICU unit, lower half paralyzed, and no control over bowel and bladder functions.

I can now walk sort of normal without a cane, and have some control over my bladder and bowels.

I make adjustments to prevent accidents, but I'd like to get to the point where I don't need to, or that the adjustments don't interfere with my scheduling at all. 

I know I am continually getting better, but it has become a slow process.  Although I don't wet myself in my sleep as much as I used to, the frequency is still too much - and although my bowel movements are much more regular than let's say, three months ago, I still have a tendency to let that control me whether I go outside or not, and for how long.  I still don't schedule anything in advance that would keep me out for more than a couple of hours at a time.

I would like to run again - for more than a few steps, and at a sprinting speed.  Not a slow jog speed. 

Not to be ungrateful.  I am grateful to have recovered as much as I have. I'm determined to recover fully.  But sometimes, the process does get frustrating.

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